Response to Comments on Social Anxiety

Fer th’ love o’ Brann Bronzebeard’s bronze… beard… *ahem* Wow! It got busy around here! I took a couple of days to be ill and get myself ordered to rest, and my page views took that opportunity to skyrocket! My post on social anxiety was linked in one of WoWInsider’s “Daily Quest” articles, and Beru from Falling Leaves and Wings was kind enough to write about Heavy Wool Bandage for the Netherhood Welcome Wagon!

There are a lot of comments on the social anxiety post now and, while I don’t see myself finding the time to respond to each of them, there are some things I have to say that I think makes this follow-up post worth it. And to tell the truth, that may even be an aspect of the social anxiety. I’m okay with saying things to an audience full of AFGNCAAP in my own space, but I’m not so good with replying to comments or leaving them on other blogs. When I do leave comments, I’m not so good at keeping up with what was said after that. Oh yeah… please don’t ask me a question in your comments if I ever leave you a comment. I’m probably hiding under a rock somewhere. Have you ever tried to plug your laptop into a rock?

First, each and every person who has left a comment was respectful. I really appreciate that. I moderate my comments, so I would have just deleted any from complete jerks. (I don’t delete disagreement, so if you ever plan on saying “lolz u suck”, try wording it as, “Forsooth, I find your approach to be lacking in efficiency and have grave concerns about the possible results of such unskilled tactics. Perhaps you may benefit from spending your time immersed in research and practice, rather than spreading such gross misinformation across these fine interwebz.”) I didn’t have to delete any comments. The subject is a deeply personal thing — and not just for me, obviously — and everyone who commented was on their best behavior. Thank you. :)

There were some suggestions about trying healing in battlegrounds. When I wrote about why I won’t be doing that I got some great comments that made me take another look at my approach to it. I expect battlegrounds to be more of a team effort than they usually are when I do them. Yes, I know there’s practically no time for sitting down to have tea together and electing a council to appoint a committee to discuss strategy… but I expect something better than: “y is nobody cap flag yet?” “BECAUSE U ALL SUCK! I HATE ALLY! ALLY ALWAYS SUCK!” “ur mom sucks” “my grandma sucks n she could still do this better then u” “GRATE WE GONNA LOOSE!” “just let them have it. horde sucks anyways”. And that’s if I just disappear into a crowd of useless dps. If I’m a healer, I feel like I need to have some clue what I’m doing so I can do it well. Otherwise, I’m afraid of that turning into: “healer u suck” “y healer can’t heal? are u ret?” All the reading about battlegrounds and watching videos in the world can’t replace in-game experience for me, and I don’t have a lot of in-game experience with battlegrounds that’s taught me much.

Let me ammend that — it hasn’t taught me much about battlegrounds. It’s taught me plenty about people. Certain types of people.

But I am rethinking my decision on that. I am trying to talk myself into believing any healing will be appreciated. And I’m trying to adjust to the idea that it’s my teammates’ job to protect me, not my job to heal them and kill everything that looks at me wrong.

The biggest thing… the most important thing… I think should be learned from the comments is that there are a lot of awesome people out there who may just be too nervous/scared/intimidated to walk up and say, “Hey, I’m Awesome. Wanna be my friend?” I often talk about playing the game with my husband. The comments are littered with mentions of girlfriends, boyfriends, spouses, kids, best friends, great guildies, etc. We have connections to other people. They are valuable to us, and we are valuable to them. We aren’t just closing ourselves off from the world. We may have to work a bit harder, and being close to us may require a bit more patience than with other people, but we are people worth knowing. We aren’t losers just because we have smaller social circles.

shoryl – If I ever find myself on Ysera, I’ll look your guild up. :) And then I’ll have my husband whisper one of you first because, you know… it’s easier to use him as an icebreaker.

Samhaineve – Thank you. I’m not going to try to pretend I understand exactly how rough things are for you, but my husband is a disabled Marine, so I have an appreciation for the sacrifice you’ve made that I really cannot put into words. Thank you so much.

Vidyala – Hi, I’m Awesome. Wanna be my friend? You can’t go wrong following a suggestion from Rades. Or, at least, I haven’t gone wrong that way. Yet.

If any of you get me as your healer sometime… be nice if you want to live! Actually, I can’t help but notice that it seems like a lot of the comments came from healers. New rule: Tanks and dps – don’t intimidate your healers! Some of us are fragile, but we’re awesome and you want to live through the dungeon.

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One Response to Response to Comments on Social Anxiety

  1. Apple says:

    Vid is amazing and will treasure your amazingness, I am sure. (I treasure hers AND yours.)

    Personally, the fact that you ARE as… shy and quiet as you are makes the fact that you count me a friend a very important, special thing to me. I haven’t been around much lately, it’s true, curse my WoW-ADD, but I’ve had a lot of fun getting to know you, and sharing opinions on Dwarves, Elves, and cheese. ;)

    In short, you are indeed Awesome, and I’m grateful to know you.

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