Recommended Reading – Tanks, Being Nice, and Social Anxiety Revisited

Blizzard has blessed (and cursed) us with answers to some lore questions in the latest round of Ask Creative Development Q&A. There are a couple of answers in there that really jump out at me and stir up some thought, and I intend to address them soon in a post. Maybe two posts. While you wait for that, though, there are some excellent posts on other blogs that I really want folks to read.

It’ll make me happy. I’ll do a /dance. Not quite the same as Flashdance, but you get what you pay for and I’m not getting paid to write this blog.

Paladin Pants is a blog that doesn’t get updated often, but it’s quality reading when updates do happen. The Tanking Classes and You: What’s Your Sign? was written at the end of March, before 4.1, but I didn’t see it until a few nights ago. I think the information is still very good, especially since the author was taking the (then) upcoming release of 4.1 into account. The post is really about the flavor of the tanking classes/specs, and how these may or may not appeal to certain types of players. It made me think about why I find paladin tanks to be so squishy when I’m healing, and how there could be a fair number of “bad tanks” who just aren’t playing the type of tank that would fit them best.

Rhee’s tale of  random acts of MMO kindness continues on Oh My, Kurenai! with Paying it Forward, Part 2, in which she gets the chance to pay some kindness forward. I was in gchat when this happened and got to hear about it at the time, and it gave me warm fuzzies of joy!

This last one is near and dear to my heart. WoWInsider featured Thriftee, leveling without spending any money, and it turned out the player is the same person who became Döra the level 1 Explorer.

I remember seeing the video of Döra getting her Explorer title. It’s my favorite title in the game. Once I get it on a character, I display it proudly and wear the tabard Brann Bronzebeard sends to me. I finish the achievement in Northrend, so I get the title and tabard at the same time. (Brann Bronzebeard writes a letter to me! How cool is that?!) You may kill all the dragons, but I go all the places! Seeing the video of Döra with her guildies gathered around her for the last stretch of the journey, then celebrating with her, made me want to be in a guild. I’ve written before about why that’s so hard for me. I love being able to share things with my husband like the raids we’ve two-manned, or when we’ve two-manned dungeons at the level for them. But if getting Tricks and Treats of Azeroth at level 40 was fun with the two of us, how much more fun might it have been if there had been some level 40 guildies to go along? Dodging a Fel Reaver when you aren’t even the proper level to be in Outland yet does get pretty exciting!

I’ve finally stepped outside of a guild full of mine and my husband’s characters. I’ve joined Celtic Siege on the Horde side of Drenden (US), and I recently joined Eff the Ineffable on the Alliance side of Azuremyst (US). It’s still not always easy, but I’ve made a big step and can’t imagine not being in either one of those guilds. I have guildies! I AM a guildie!

And then I learned something yesterday about Döra, who had inspired me to stop hiding in a guild by myself and try joining one with other people. She has severe social anxiety. She’s rolled an alt in a new guild, and become an officer of that guild, for people who have social anxiety. People who want to see the content, but can become paralyzed by being in a group. People who may be a bit undergeared because they just can’t make themselves as in Trade if the gems they need aren’t up on the Auction House. People who not only fear poor performance, but would rather go unnoticed than be praised in front of others for good performance because that still means being singled out. The guild is called Paranoid, and it’s on Emerald Dream (EU).

I don’t do well with commenting on other blogs, so I don’t do it often. I had to work up a little courage to leave a comment on Döra’s post because, well… you know… “OMG! Strangers! I don’t know them and they don’t know me!” But it turns out, from reading the comments, that it was partially the Bossy Pally’s post about her own social troubles and my social anxiety post that inspired the GM of Paranoid to go ahead and post to the official forums about her social anxiety and the guild she wanted to create. And that’s how she found Döra!

You may think you aren’t important. You may think no one notices what you do, and you may even prefer to go unnoticed. But, as Clarence said to George Bailey, “Strange, isn’t it? Each man’s life touches so many other lives.” If you’re one of those who simulataneously craves a fears that connection, consider giving Paranoid a try.

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4 Responses to Recommended Reading – Tanks, Being Nice, and Social Anxiety Revisited

  1. Mimfollee says:

    Good Luck with the guilds, Effers seem such a nice bunch (i’m stalking a lot of blogs, hehe), and i was reading the post on EU forums about Paranoid guild and thought of your blog:), before the creator admitted you were partially an inspiration.

    I have to say, im impressed there were no negative comments on her post on forums (she posted in General) :)

  2. Mer says:

    Thank you for mentioning us, Glorwynn! It’s a small world, isn’t it?
    Paranoid is now 30+ members strong and we’ve completed several guild runs in lower level dungeons already. We have no shortage of tanks, because a lot of people wanted to finally give it a try, but more tanks are welcome! We’ll just take our turns to give everyone a chance. :)

    Not everyone is comfy yet to type in gchat a lot, but that’s okay. We take our time and there’s no rush. :)

    Good luck with your journey and I hope you continue to enjoy your guilds!

    @Mimfollee, there was some slight derailing at the end. I chose not to respond, because I felt I had already tried to explain several times what it was like to have SA and figured I should let the thread die. Our name was out there and the General Forum isn’t meant for recruitment anyway. :)

  3. Döra says:

    Hello Glorwynn, Döra/Thriftee here :)
    Thanks ever so much for this plug of our new guild Glorwynn. It is indeed amazing how things turn out, and how wonderful it is when you finally realise ‘You are not alone’! You mention my Döra the Explorer video and how having all my guildies around me for the final reveal made you wanna be in a guild. I chuckled quietly to myself when I read that, as you have no idea of the anxieties I went through as that day loomed – lol.

    You see, it was suggested on our guild forum that others wanted to join me on that final stretch, so I was asked to put it on the calender – so I did. But even so – I was convinced that no one would turn up! My son said to let him know when it was happening because he wanted to come in my room and watch. I asked if he would watch the video later because I was so convinced that it would turn into an embarrassing nightmare where it would be just me on my own. He sternly told me not to be so silly, and of course my guildies would turn up. So off I flew to the temple (the start of my run) and lo and behold – guildies were arriving from far and wide! I could hardly see where I was going for crying. To this day I cannot watch the vids I made of that event without tears welling up in my eyes. Such a precious event in my life!

    Regarding Paranoid our new guild. It is going very well, with new members arriving every day – all with the same or similar stories to tell about how they have found it hard to fit in anywhere because of their social anxiety. But we are not spending time in guild chat bemoaning our fate! We know that we are all the same, so instead, we are busily getting on and having fun doing things we were normally afraid of and having a ball in the process. I have now actually run a dungeon with guildies! Haha :D

    Mer (our GM) and the OP of the social Anxiety post on the Wow Forums is busily working on our new guild website. http://www.paranoid-ed.com/ – so if you have Social Anxiety come on over. You will find a warm welcome. If you would like more info you can email our GM Mershelle at:
    mer@paranoid-ed.com or me (Ernee) at ernee@paranoid-ed.com

  4. Thank you for posting the guild site address! :) I love that screenshot from Ragefire Chasm. May you one day find yourself with more epic screenshots than a guild scrapbook can hold!

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