Game Priorities – Please Mind Your Business, Not Mine

I’m feeling a lot of frustration lately with some of “the WoW community”. (Let’s face it… there is no “WoW community”. There are many smaller communities within the enormous chunk of people who play WoW.) I think some of this comes from being on Twitter. I love having WoW players to talk to on Twitter! But it also means I see discussions about and links to things I would have remained happily oblivious to before. I am much more aware now of things that get said outside of the circle of people I directly interact with. Here’s what I’ve learned:

WoW is really about raiding.

Hardcore end-game raiding is the only kind that counts.

WoW has been nerfed so hard that anyone who can install it can master every aspect of it within five minutes.

Anyone who cares about the story is a closet RP-er.

RP-ers are “casuals” who hate their real lives and think they live in Azeroth.

“Casuals” are too stupid to care about their performance in the game.

Blizzard nerfs the previous tier of content when a new one comes out because they are caving to the “casuals”.

If you aren’t doing it exactly the way X player, Y blogger, or Z guild is, you’re doing it wrong.

When did so many people not employed by Blizzard become the ultimate authorities on what the point of WoW is and how to go about playing it correctly? I’m not talking about things like “Don’t stand in the fire” or “The warrior should not roll need on cloth gear”. Yes, there are things that are “the right way” to do things. Especially when you’re doing things in groups. (If that warrior really wants that cloth gear, they should get together some friends who understand this run is so the warrior can get those pretty robes, or whatever.) I’m talking about judging another person’s priorities when it has NOTHING to do with you!

You can set standards for what you expect out of people you group with. When it’s a random dungeon, you have the choice of intitiating a vote kick or dropping out of the group yourself. I understand people don’t want to take the debuff because two or three people in a group are being abusive assholes, or keep rolling need on gear they don’t really need, or whatever. Sometimes, though, you have to ask yourself what’s going to ruin your enjoyment of the game more… waiting a while before you can re-queue, or putting up with this group’s crap just because it’s not fair for you to be the one who gets penalized?

When it comes to raids, you don’t have to raid with people who don’t hold themselves to the same standards you do. You can find a guild full of people who have similar priorities to yours. What raiders and guilds do outside of your group IS NOT YOUR BUSINESS.

If Horde Raider A on Server A doesn’t make it a priority to be Valor capped, or their guild doesn’t do the raids until the next tier comes out so they can do it when it’s easier, that is not the business of Alliance Raider B on Server B.

I’m tired of hearing that anyone who wants to raid can, that Blizzard has made it that easy. And I’m going to get rude here for a second… The next person who wants to say that needs to shut their mouth about it until after they’ve spent a day with my husband. I can accept that, no matter how much I want to see raid content, it’s just not likely for me. (Not completely impossible, but not likely.) I want to see the story. That story will still be in there later. I want to farm for pets. Those pets will still be there later, and the drop chances might have even been increased by then. My desire isn’t really the challenge of raiding as much as experiencing the whole game. So I can wait.

What REALLY bothers me is that my husband can’t raid. He does want the challenge of raiding. And he would be a GOOD raider! He’s a dps addict, but he makes a fine tank, too. He knows his stuff, he works well in groups. He would be a pleasure to raid with! But he also has physical issues from his service in the Marine Corps. Just sitting in his chair and playing the game for long enough starts to put a real strain on him, and that happens a lot faster when he’s doing dungeons. He has to limit the number of dungeons he can run in a night because of it, and some nights he can’t run any. When he was raiding at the end of Wrath, I saw two or three hours of raiding leave him crawling to the bedroom afterward. He was in SO much pain, and it sometimes meant he actually had to leave the raid early.

It hurts me to see him not be able to do something he would really enjoy, and that he would be good at. Please, come spend a day with him and then tell me to my face that he just needs to invest the time in it if he really wants to raid.

Speaking of investing time… The argument that because Raider A can find time for things that means Raider B can, too, is ridiculous. Unless Raider A is Bruce Wayne/Clark Kent/Stephen King and Raider B is Batman/Superman/Richard Bachman, Raider A does not get to decide what Raider B can handle based on Raider A’s schedule and priorities. This is like those stupid diet product commercials claiming that, if the bubbly skinny chick on the screen could do it, ANYONE can! Yeah… go talk to your doctor about that. Preexisting conditions, metabolism, and a bunch of other things might make some other weight-loss plan a much better idea for you.

Not everyone can juggle the same things within the same 24 hour period and be affected the same way. Not every raider has the same raiding priorities. Some people live for raiding (as far as their time spent in game goes). Some people really enjoy it, but it’s not quite that important to them.

It’s a big game. It has 85 levels, not just level 85. It has professions, which some people enjoy a lot more than I do. The leveling experience has changed and it’s a good time to level alts. So some people enjoy leveling multiple characters. It has a TON of story, and most zones have had the stories updated and quests revamped so that they are worth seeing again… assuming someone enjoys the story.

There’s a quest in Un’Goro crater where Karna Remtravel sends you to check on her robotic gorrila, A-Me 01. It’s an easier, revamped version of an old quest. And there’s a big red gorilla in the gorilla cave you get a quest to kill. The interesting part comes later… when a Titan watcher sends you around to do some tests for her. In one of them, she disguises you as a gorilla and wants you to talk to a regular gorilla, a stomper, and a thunderer. That’s all you have to do. Just one each of those three types.

Of course, I wanted to see what happens if you try to talk to gorillas that aren’t required for the quest.

If you talk to A-Me 01, you get this:






And if you go into the cave and talk ot the big red gorilla, he tells you a joke. (I’m writing this from memory, so I’m sure I’m a word or two off somewhere. And I was playing a night elf druid. He probably just fills in your race and class.)

“Hey, did you hear the one about the night elf druid that started attacking gorillas? A gorilla asked the night elf druid, ‘Why are you attacking us?’ and the night elf druid said, ‘A gobline told me to.’ So the gorilla asked the night elf druid, ‘Do you always do what goblins tell you to?’ and the night elf druid said, ‘Yes. Because I am smelly and dumb and walk on two legs.’

Pretty funny, huh? Maybe it needs some work…”

That’s what I like doing. I like finding the things that Blizzard put in but didn’t lead you right up to. The things that only someone who wanders off the paved road with all the signs pointing where you should go will find. I am not a failure because I’m not raiding. I am a success because I’m not restricted to one thing that makes the game worth it for me. I can enjoy a number of aspects of the game and not feel like I either have to find a group that will let me drag them down with my poor performance or just unsubscribe.

I struggle every day with things that other people find so simple, and it’s not because I’m stupid. I’m living with a condition that mimics a brain tumor. Would you tell someone who has a brain tumor that the reason they have trouble with [insert common, everyday thing here] is because they’re stupid? I have enough to deal with already. I keep working my ass off to make myself see the doors that have shut for me as opportunites instead of limitations. I can’t sew anymore. Okay… I’ll spend that time drawing. I’m limited on the driving I can handle. I can get lost and have a panic attack just going across the town I’ve lived in all my life. Okay… well, my husband can’t really handle going out a lot, anyway, so we have plenty of time to stay home with each other and it saves us money. Numbers are difficult for me to process because I have dyscalculia, not because I’m stupid. I get mathematical concepts, and I rather enjoy calculus. I just have some serious problems when actual numbers start getting plugged into things. So no, I can’t always make sense of what would be the best upgrade for me, or choosing gems and enchants.

I have to deal with myself about those things all the time. Some days, I shut down and cry for an hour or two because I just can’t take it anymore. I get fed up with seeing other people be able to do something so quickly and easily when it’ll take me hours or days to accomplish the same thing. I get angry when my brain knows what to do and my hands just aren’t getting the message and cooperating in time. I hate myself when I can’t even string the words together to clearly explain the issue so that people will stop patting me on the head and saying, “It just takes practice. You’ll get used to it.” I’m tired of feeling like I’m somehow a failure because I have to do one thing at a time and pay attention to it… I can’t be alt-tabbing out of the game to read something while still questing, playing music, and tweeting on Twitter. I can do ONE of those! Only one.

So, really, I don’t give a shit what you can do. I’m not you, and you’re not me. You have no right to judge me or how I play the game. Especially since I don’t go into heroics with crappy gear and start making excuses. I don’t impose my limitations on you. I don’t insist that you have to make up for what I’m lacking because I pay my $15 a month, too, and it’s not my fault I have trouble with this.

And you may think you aren’t judging me. Many of you may sit there and say to yourselves, “Wow… I can’t believe someone would treat Glorwynn like that! There are some real assholes in this game!” But how many times have you passed judgement on someone else who wasn’t doing it your way? How many times have you decided what guilds other than your own should and should not be doing? How many times have you said something like, “Anyone who wants to can raid” or, “There’s no excuse for not understanding something so simple” after listing off a string of numbers and calculations?

Mind your own business. I think it’s fair to include deciding whether or not to work with someone else when you don’t agree with their way of doing things. That’s still “your own business”. But passing blanket judgements on large groups of people when all you see is the end result, not the causes, and making assumptions about what other people can and cannot do just makes you an asshole. If it’s not getting in the way of your gameplay, it’s just not your business.

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32 Responses to Game Priorities – Please Mind Your Business, Not Mine

  1. Apple says:


    You know what I think about people who might put you down. You are a fabulous, wonderful person, and just because you can’t do things the same way, or as easily, or wtf ever does not mean you fail. Same for anyone else. For the LIFE of me, I still can’t figure out exactly what stats to put priority on for my gear, and how high I need to get them. Seriously, you can explain it to me until you’re blue in the face, but unless you literally say “okay, first, get your Int up to X. Then, get your Haste to Y.” I am not going to be able to do it. Why? Who the hell knows. Looking at Elitist Jerks or any similar site gets me following a cookie-cutter talent spec and glyphs and then being completely baffled by literally EVERYTHING ELSE they have available.

    After a while, I can figure out for myself why some talents are important and some aren’t, but it’s one of those “I’m finally getting a feeling for this class after having played it for a while, I think” things. And sometimes I’m wrong. I’m not a good self-led raider because I really don’t know what to DO by myself. When it comes to gems and enchants, I go to someone who knows what they’re doing, tail between my legs, and either say “whatever you think is best” or pick something that seems like it might be good. Either that or fill up a cookie-cutter gear list without being exactly sure why I’m getting this or that.

    And… Bah, I had a point and I lost it.

    Still. You have a point. Such a good point. I haven’t played in days because I’m still struggling with depression stuff, illness, and my anti-depressants not having kicked in yet. Which means I haven’t done my dailies (which I actually kind of enjoy this time around, shockingly enough). I spent a good chunk of time I could’ve been spending gearing up for raids, earlier this year, working on my Shattered Sun Offensive rep so I could get their pretty Exalted tabard, because it didn’t make me want to log off and never log in again like the thought of running heroics or doing dailies was at the time. And… aoirh;sdf

    Words. I know them. Basically, I agree with this post. A lot.

    • As much as what you say always cheers me up, I suspect I could say I’m going to devote my time to standing in Mulgore and /waving at kodo, and you’d tell me you support me 100%. That’s the joy of having a sisterthing. 🙂

  2. ironyca says:

    It was almost a catharsis for me to read your post. I could feel the anger behind it when I read it, and I know what you mean. I get angry at this obsession with belittling other players interests and motivations within the game too, just because they aren’t as quantifiable as a high item level. I was close to writing an angry post myself, but decided not to to avoid fueling my own annoyment, but at the same time when I read yours, it felt as if it needed to be said.

    • Sometimes I write these things, then read it out loud to my husband and ask, “Is that too harsh? Am I stirring stuff up? Should I just delete it?” And every time he says, “I think it needs to be said.” I don’t find myself directly on the recieving end of these things. If anything, I get people who say, “But I don’t mean you, of course… that’s different.” I guess I just want people to be able to see that I’m really not “different”. There are, literally, millions of people playing WoW. If you put all the people who are some kind of “legitimate exception” together, that would probably be a big chunk of people. None of them deserve to have assumptions made about them like that. I just get angry enough to stand up and say so.

      • redcow says:

        It did need to be said, and I think you did a wonderful job. You are absolutely right about this: “There are, literally, millions of people playing WoW. If you put all the people who are some kind of “legitimate exception” together, that would probably be a big chunk of people.” If people passing judgement spend so much time thinking of ways to exempt the people they are speaking to, maybe they should rethink their dependence on blanket statements!

  3. Dana says:

    The attitudes you describe in this post was one of the factors that ultimately pushed me away from the game. Just recently read someone’s comments where a person felt Player A ought to be laughed at because Player A did not see a situation on their same level, which obviously meant Player A was stupid.

    People need to understand that there are human beings behind the pixels. Unless you live with the person (and even this isn’t a guarantee), you really don’t know what the hell is going on in their situation and need to lay off the judgment.

    • Having RP’d with you on occaision, I can honestly say I think it was WoW’s loss. You’re one of those people that, even though I don’t really know you, I have great respect for what I’ve seen of you as a player and a person.

  4. Rades says:

    As a raider, I know I’d never belittle someone who enjoys spending time doing non-raid things, because I’d be belittling myself! I LOVE raiding, but I sure wish I could do without the non-raid activities that eat up my time such as running Heroics, farming up buff food, etc. I’d love to spend that time doing Loremaster or leveling new toons.

    I know you don’t raid, and usually don’t group for dungeons (though that has changed since I met you). And you know what? That has always been fine by me. Even if we had been on the same server and in the same guild, and you said “No” every time I asked if you wanted to do a dungeon, I wouldn’t think there was anything wrong with that. I mean, I’m certainly not going to hide my joy of such activities, but I’m certainly never going to force you to do so. It’s a lot like PVP, actually. Many players, be they raiders or roleplayers or “casuals” – love PVP. And many HATE it. It’s just one of those things. If you do it, cool. If you don’t, that’s cool too. Whatever you want to do!

    This Valor Point thing…it’s been unpleasant since the idea of weekly caps began. To say something is wrong or right is silly. And it’s inaccurate. The only time when saying “Capping your Valor Points each week is the only correct way of doing things” is if you are in a hardcore progression guild, where such practices are understood and mandatory. And that’s fine! Of course, people in such guilds also already KNOW that this is what they should be doing, so it does make me wonder who these “advice” posts are intended for…

    Now, if you were to say that capping Valor each week was the OPTIMAL thing to do? Well, I couldn’t argue with that – it’s absolutely true. As is buying every Bind-on-Equip epic item that shows up on the auction house. Or re-rolling to a new class every time Blizzard rebalances the classes and a new class arises as the “best” choice. Obviously, these are are “the best” but clearly these actions are not for everyone.

    Personally, I have never felt you play the game less ideally than me, even though I raid and you don’t. Quite the opposite actually – I have a HUGE amount of respect for the amount of sheer enjoyment and joy you derive out of the game, from things like Yetimus adventures to Manglespamming everything in sight. I really envy just how much FUN you find in everything. 🙂

    On an unrelated note, I do have to say that when people say “Anyone can raid, because Blizzard has made it so easy” they’re not really talking in the sense of people who have out-of-game difficulties. I can definitely understand why you take offense to this statement, because it’s so broad and seemingly all-encompassing, and because you have such a personal level of experience with this scenario, but I really do think these statements are merely speaking in terms of difficulty when compared to previous raiding scenarios. It is awful and very unfortunate when a player’s external real-life health or condition prevents them from experiencing an aspect of the game, whether it be raiding, PVP, roleplaying, or even something like enjoying the game visuals and music. But being unable to do something isn’t a “raider” thing – it’s a (X game element) thing.

    I don’t know if that makes sense…hopefully. >8<

    • I do understand people really mean “large numbers of players who do not have extentuating circumstances”. I guess some of my problem is that I end up feeling like I’m not part of “anyone”. “Everybody can… Oh, wait! Not you! Everybody ELSE!” And those very legitimate extenuating circumstances vary from person to person, so it’s difficult to know when someone would find my reasons for not being able to do something acceptable and when they wouldn’t. (I know, I know… I shouldn’t care either way!) I’d appreciate it if people would consider adopting the phrase “the average player” instead of “anyone”. I know that could be nitpicked to death, but at least it sounds like the person saying it isn’t blind to extenuating circumstances.

      I have actually run some dungeons recently! The Effers have gotten another lower-level member who is an excellent tank, friendly, and very considerate of others when they aren’t up for dungeons. In fact, in spite of the fact that the Effers are a raiding guild at heart, I’ve been very comfortable there. I don’t always see eye-to-eye with others on what’s fun and what’s not in the game, but no one seems to feel the need to force their own views on anyone else. It’s enough to acknowledge that those different views exist. I even (brace yourself) ACCEPTED HELP the other night! Rhee took me to get my antlers with her druid, and then I took David to get his last night. It’s becoming a bit of a ritual. Complete with going back to Moonglade with the newly-antlered level 50 druid and /cheering them next to one of the moonwells. 🙂


      • Anyone says:

        “Anyone” and “Everybody” don’t exist and talking about “the average player” is no better. For instance, I could raid; I did so rather successfully in the last tier but for personal reasons I choose not to in Firelands. If people really minded their own business, it might sound more like this:

        For me, WoW is really about raiding. You might enjoy it too.

        For me, Hardcore end-game raiding is the only kind that counts. I enjoy the challenge.

        In my experience, WoW has been nerfed so hard that I can master every aspect of it within five minutes. That’s why I gravitate towards hardcore raiding.

        I don’t care about the story and don’t understand people who RP. What do you get out of it?

        I put a lot of thought and care into playing the game at a high level. If players who put less effort into their game wanted to perform like I do, they would need to devote similar effort. I get a lot of satisfaction by playing like this.

        I wish Blizzard wouldn’t nerf the previous tier of content when a new one comes out. I feel it devalues the achievements I worked hard to get.

        I make use of other people’s advice and experience to optimize my play time. I don’t think I could be where I am without standing on their shoulders. Who has inspired you?

      • I do agree with this. I know “the average player” isn’t really better, but I think it would go down a little easier for me when I read it. It would at least sound like the person who wrote it has at least considered the fact that not everyone has the same abilities. It may not be much more accurate that “everyone”, but it sounds less like if you fall outside of that, then you’re a non-entity. When it comes to individual preference… well, there’s a reason it’s called “individual” preference. Comparing a hardcore raider who doesn’t care about other aspects of the game to a roleplayer who may or may not raid, and may very well do so casually if they do, is just silly. They’re aren’t approaching the game with the same goals or playing it for the same reason. So, yes, I agree that stating one’s own views and preferences without wording them as Great Truths About the Game, is a better and more mature way to discuss game interests.

  5. Döra says:

    Wow – what a GREAT post! And YES it did need saying. I Identified with virtually everything you said there. I could have written it myself, only you said it much more eloquently. I came to this game quite late in life, and also find that now, my hands don’t co-operate with my brain. When we are having scampi for tea I have to say to my son “Do you fancy having that thing that looks like prawns with breadcrumbs on?” because the word “Scampi” just will not find its way into my fore brain and into my vocal cords. And yes – I had to ask him, before I wrote that because that dam word still won’t come to me. It’s so dammed annoying, but it’s just one of those things I have to live with. I would love to be able to keybind most of my abilities – but with arthritis its difficult.

    I am so sick of these blanket Wow statements too, but mainly when they become personal. I’ve lost count of the number of people who have told me I should ‘get a life’, or I have ‘too much time on my hands’, or ‘you must be bored’. Or you cheated on your challenge because of ‘this’ ‘this’ or ‘this’, when those things were not explicitly forbidden within my OWN challenge rules. Who gave someone the right to change MY challenge rules? You did it on a hunter so it doesn’t count. You died so… doesn’t count. I’ve been accused of lying when I said I had fun doing a particular achievement. Or Döra was an idiot and wasted her time by exploring on foot – ” never heard of a rocket mount?”. Or – you cheated – you did it by rocket mount and lied by saying you did it on foot.

    Or this comment on my blog (see last comment) – must admit – this comment is one of the stupidest I have ever personally come across. I could have deleted it, but left it there because it’s so ludicrous. It makes me chuckle now, but at the time…

    How did I spoil their enjoyment of the game to the point where these people had to take time out of their lives to express these opinions? Baffles me.

    Oh boy – I’ve started ranting, so maybe I should leave it there. Bravo Glorwynn!

    • I know that frustration of not being able to find words that you KNOW you must know! I think that contributed to my suddenly becoming so anxious about talking to people. I know what a washing machine is, yet I sometimes have to say, “The thing… thw white metal box. You put the clothes in it, with the water and soap, and it swishes them around!” It’s confusing to other people, or sometimes even a little amusing and cute. But to me, it’s horrifying. My brain has that word in it. It’s a common word. It just won’t work like it should when I speak.

      Thank you so much for leaving a comment, Dora. 🙂

      • Aveden says:

        I’ve always been shy, and the biggest reason was because I had troubles coming up with the words I want to say during conversation. I’ve always been an eloquent writer, but when I’m in the middle of a conversation I can’t seem to come up with the words. It’s refreshing to see other’s have the same difficulty I do.

  6. Rhii says:

    I know we don’t always see eye to eye on these things, but I hope you do know I respect the way you play the game, whether you have to or whether you choose to. 🙂 My dearest friend finds herself limited by her three toddlers. And where other moms of young kids might be able to snatch a bit more time, she’s also a fibromyalgia sufferer, and when she has those moments, she isn’t always physically up to doing anything but resting. So I’ve had a bit of experience with the perspective of people who really do want to play but can’t make it work. That said, in the experiential realm, it’s a little hard for me to grasp because I CAN do more or less anything in the game I want, with the exception probably of competitive arenas. So when I say dumb things, know that it’s because it’s hard to recognize things outside my realm of experience, not because I think you (or anyone else who isn’t standing in fire) is a less worthy person or player.

    PS – Flailing my way into BRD with you the other night was tremendously fun for me. I hope the new druid initiations continue!

    • I have always gotten the feeling that you make an effort to understand as best you can, and I have never felt judged by you. I love it that you admit to not being able to completely understand. It often feels hollow when someone says, “Oh, I know exactly what you mean! That’s never happened to me, but I know this one guy and he said…” I’ll take an honest, “I have no idea what this is like, but I imagine it must be frustrating,” any day.

      And, yes! BRD was awesome! The two deaths were more than worth having that much fun with a friend!

  7. Ophelie says:

    I get the exact same vibe you do from Twitter. I am a raider, but I gave up serious raiding a bit over 6 months ago and ever since I’ve discovered this irritating attitude I’d never noticed before. Those childless, 9 to 5ers who’ve always been childless 9 to 5ers and whom assume EVERYONE is a childless 9 to 5er. (I’m childless, but the 9 to 5 lifestyle is just uggg! I’d rather sacrifice raiding and have a more interesting life.)

    I limit myself to a few minutes of Twitter at a time and I find that helps a lot. You might want to do a purge of the people you follow too. If you’re not interested in someone’s tweets, there’s no shame in unfollow! I can probably recommend some RPers, PVPers and non-raiders you might get along with. If I remember I’ll do an non-raiding #FF when I get home from work.

    • I have considered purging my Twitter list of some of the people that I never have conversations with. I’m in and out of Twitter throughout a day, and I know there are a fair number of people that I’ve never talked to but I’m spending time reading their tweets. It makes my brain cluttered. Trimming the Twitter hedges might clear my view a little. 🙂 It’s not really the people I follow who are an issue, but simply that I end up seeing a lot more links to things and discussion about things from them. Even if it’s seeing them say they disagree with whoever they linked to, I’m now aware that it’s something being put out there. Following more non-raiders might help, as I suppose they’d be less interested in raider-drama.

      The RP community, and those who don’t understand RP, has its own issues. Some of that may depend on which server someone plays on, but I’ve definitely seen enough RP-oriented Out of Character drama to last me a while. I have come across some very mature people on Twitter, though, who I’d like to RP with if I ever start playing that way again.

      I think I just want the drama to disappear. It’s a game. If you’re not having fun, that’s when you’re “doing it wrong”. In other news… I just got flight form on a druid for the first time last night! If having fun is the important part, I was TOTALLY doing it right! 🙂

  8. Nymphy says:

    Wow, Just wow. I agree wholeheartedly with this entire post. And yes I know I am saying what the other commenters have said, but truly it needed to be said. You are one of the most amazing people I have met through Twitter and the game, and you and I have had some pretty deep conversations and you know that I know where you are coming from. *hugs* Thank you for this post. Truly, deeply thank you for this post.

    • Getting fed up enough to finally say something is one thing I’m good at. I don’t know that I should always do it, and there is a fear of “stirring up a hornet’s nest” when I do. But there is a part of me that not only feels like I need to speak up when something affects me, but also that by not speaking up I’m contributing to the problem. That I’m silently condoning things. Sometimes character is about the things you don’t do, as much as the things you do.

  9. Rhoelyn says:

    I just want to snap my fingers and say “You preach it, sistah!” There is a lot of judgement, not just in WoW, but in the world. It’s happening all around us, and if we’re honest with ourselves, I doubt very many of us are -merely- its victims.

    It doesn’t excuse the people who let their ugly thoughts leak out of their venomous mouths, but judging, knowing only one perspective on life and existence, it’s human nature. We’re not a hive mind (though sometimes I think it would be an improvement if we were). Thus, it requires a lot of empathy to recognize that not everyone is like you. Not everyone’s experiences and capabilities are the same as yours. Not everyone THINKS as you do. Unfortunately, empathy is something that few people do a good job of developing, especially in this new, anonymous internet culture we’re nurturing.

    You have every right to be irate. You’re completely right that there is no “everyone can” “this is so easy” “you’re stupid if” that comes in one-size-fits-all. It’s nothing but systemic ignorance.

    Unfortunately, it’s commonplace. And it’s going to take a lot more ranting and community opposition to start teaching people that it’s WRONG. Sign me up for the rumble.

    • I don’t know how much empathy I have. It’s kind of a logic thing for me. It’s obvious that no two people are exactly alike, so it makes sense that two people can experience the exact thing thing with different results. The more different the experiences are, the less those two people become alike. So listening to each other becomes an important part of experiencing as much of life as you can. When you listen to another person’s ideas and opinions, hear them tell about their experiences, it’s still not the same as if it happened to you… but it gives you knowledge and understanding that you wouldn’t have come by all on your own. Even if we disagree with each other (and I don’t think people always have to agree to be peaceful… that’s about behavior, not agreement) we, as people, can only have richer lives for having listened and considered what another person’s point of view is. That just makes sense to me.

  10. zwinglisblog says:

    I’m sorry that I’m coming to this post so late.

    First off, I want to say, ” AMEN! PREACH IT GIRLFRIEND!!!!”

    You are sooooo right. I’ve often been on the receiving end of those kind of posts. When I was first lvling Zwingli, I asked for help on the server forums regarding my specc. I was asked where I had bought my character, since I “obviously” couldn’t have leveled him and been that stupid.

    Needless to say, I didn’t go back to the forums for quite some time.

    On an unrelated note, I miss instancing with you two. You are both so encouraging. I bet you have been taking pointers from Apple! I power leveled to 58, just so I could be in range with you two. I understand your limitations. If you guys ever wanna run an instance and I’m on, please let me know. Caligan is always willing to get his face bashed for you two. I’ve also been /w Platy about paladin stuff. I hope that I’m not annoying him. I’m needy that way. 🙂


  11. juulna says:

    Hello Glorwynn! I’m a new reader to your blog, but my! What a way to enter into your blog!
    I must say, I’ve always considered myself to be a considerate WoW player, but you really have opened my eyes that extra bit more; things I haven’t really thought about before. I mean, I have disabilities myself, but they don’t interfere too much with my WoW time, other than making me need to sleep a lot more, haha. Pain gets in my face a lot but I’ve come to learn to ignore it… but a lot of people don’t have that ability to do so… Makes me sad, but then it makes me happy when I hear of people still finding great enjoyment out of the game. It’s great! ^_^

    It brings to mind the WoW forum post about that kid who ‘admitted’ finally to having a disability; about all the things he had to do to play and adapt the game to his style. Made me cry happy tears. ❤

    Anyways… can't wait to read more of your posts. I'm off to peruse your archives! Great first impression. I'm a fan of honest-poke-in-the-community's-face blog posts. 😉

    *hugs from a random stranger*

  12. Endyme says:

    I’ve come across links to your blog a few times now and each time, I find I rather like (and often agree with) what you have to say. Big thumbs up for this post, for instance. I quite agree. When the ‘capping valor points’ issue became a hot topic, I was put off a bit by what some were saying. I raid, not hardcoooore, but I raid. Do I cap my VP every week? Nope. I would like to cap my VP, but I hate PuG’s and if enough guildies aren’t around, I’m not always inclined to drop into a PuG and possibly get the group from hell. So the suggestion that I’m not doing it right, or am not doing my duty by capping my VP every week….was like, excuse me?

    We all play this game for various reasons and our Real Lives are all full of different challenges and responsibilities. Some folks don’t seem to get that and assign the ‘fail’ tag to those who aren’t playing at the level they are. Yes, Blizzard has made raiding easier than it used to be (40 man raids, attunements, 5 minute pally buffs….hours and hours of raiding….*twitch*), but even so, it doesn’t make someone fail for not doing so, or for not capping VP every week.

    Why are people so concerned about what others are doing and how they chose to play the game? If it impacts me, I may get concerned…but if they’re happy in their corner doing their thing and I’m in my corner doing mine, I live and let live. And even if it does impact me, I’d correct/advise/whatever kindly first, not go straight into asshole mode and call them a n00b/fail player.

    Also, you’ve been blogrolled!

    • Thank you for blogrolling me. 🙂 And, yes… the question of “If it doesn’t get in your way, why is it your business?” is what aggravates me. It does pop up in many forms in the game. Raiding drama, roleplay drama, PvP vs PvE drama. If folks spent more time doing what makes them happy and less time pointing at what other people are doing, I think a lot of problems would seem to disappear. And that’s true outside of Azeroth, as well.

  13. Ssitha says:

    Wow! This was amazing. I have not seen something put so succinctly in a long time! I would write more but I am having trouble seeing my screen at the moment. I have not had this depth of emotion from simply reading a post in a long time. Keep up the good work! My prayers to both you & your husband. You are an outstanding person. Keep shining bright!

  14. Mimfollee says:

    I dont usually comment on blogs, but you are quite inspiring.
    IRL, i dont drive. I have the licence, but I dont drive as I dont have a good perception of space and I’m deathly afraid I would cause an accident. I am often told by other people that I should just try, since it gets better with practice.

    I hate it, and i find the wow approach you got angry at to be the same attitude – If I can do it, anyone can. This is just not true, we are all different and something that is normal to one person is not normal to another. Making blanket statements is just being willifuly blind to the differences that exist.

  15. Pingback: There is your way and there is my way. There is no wrong way. « Tome of the Ancient

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